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Men Having Babies – The Biology Question

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One question that gay couples often ask is about their biological parenting options.  There are several options available:

  1. Perhaps the most straightforward option is having one partner/spouse become the sperm donor for the first pregnancy and the other partner/spouse becoming the parent for the second.
  2. When using an egg donor, assuming that she produces enough healthy eggs, some eggs can be fertilized with the first partner/husband’s sperm and some eggs can be frozen and then later fertilized with the sperm of the other partner/husband’s sperm.  It is also possible to ask the egg donor if she will agree to two cycles of stimulation.
  3. When using an egg donor, the eggs can be divided and fertilized separately with each partner/husband’s sperm and then one embryo from each separate batch is implanted into the surrogate mother.  If one pregnancy is achieved, then genetic testing can determine who the genetic father is.
  4. If a relative of one partner/husband is the egg donor and the other partner/husband is the sperm donor,  then both will be related to the child.

Legal considerations will include whether both husband/partners want to be named on the birth certificate or whether a second parent adoption proceeding will be the chosen path for ensuring both parents are listed on the birth certificate. This will be determined by the state where the birth takes place.

Another important factor that gay couples must consider in any surrogacy situation  is protecting the parental rights and obligations of both parents.  It is important to note that being named on a birth certificate alone does not guarantee the full protection of law.

All of these issues should be discussed and decided prior to beginning the surrogacy journey.

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What People Are Saying

  • “Here’s the thing, I thought we could save money by handling the surrogacy ourselves, but the truth is that we tried and we lost time and almost got ourselves into a mess. Our fertility clinic recommended we try an agency and gave us a few recommendations. Advocates for Surrogacy was on the list. We called, we never looked back. Candace and the team were amazing from the time we began matching with a surrogate which was a totally different experience from when we were trying to do that ourselves to handling the contract, to the medical process all the way to the delivery of our beautiful daughter.”

    — B and Z

  • “Candace is great. We must have met with her 3 or 4 times and she was always patient and provided all the answers we needed and when we finally signed up we felt comfortable and at ease. We had called several other agencies before finding Advocates for Surrogacy and the experience was very different. We received information and had a chance to speak with the director but it was obvious that we were expected to make a decision based on information and one meeting. We just didn’t think that was enough for the emotional and financial commitment that surrogacy requires.”

    — Sheila T.

  • “Our surrogacy journey was not easy. We had some false starts with surrogates and then our surrogate had 2 miscarriages but through it all Candace was there to help us get through the rough patches and helped us to stay the course. Candace would always check in with me regularly after the miscarriages and I really appreciated that. Our surrogate also had the same experience with Candace continually checking in with her. All I can say is that surrogacy can have some bumps but having Candace beside us made all the difference. We never lost our faith and confidence and in the end our dreams of having a child came true times two!”

    — M&M

  • “I’ve had 4 surrogate journeys. Candace is great to work with. She is caring and understanding. I had a wonderful experience with Advocates for Surrogacy and would go through them anytime. Thanks Candace for another unforgettable journey.”

    — P.D.

  • “Advocates for Surrogacy was our lifesaver. My cousin agreed to be our surrogate but we did not have the finances for IVF after several failed attempts on our own. I started to look at international programs and stumbled upon Advocates for Surrogacy’s Guatemala IVF Program. It was our answer. Even with the travel costs, it was a major savings. The doctors at the clinic were great and really took time to explain everything. Candace’s team in Guatemala were great. We were picked up at the airport, taken to the clinic and never felt we were on our own.”

    — Tara K.

  • “I just completed my 5th surrogacy journey and my first with Advocates for Surrogacy. I was with another agency for 1st and 3rd journeys and did 2nd and 4th independently. My 1st and 3rd were so so and not much support from agency. 2nd independent was good but I had some problems with bills getting paid on time. My 2nd independent journey was a total mess so I definitely don’t recommend going independent even with experience. I can honestly say that working with Candace was great. She went to bat for me when I needed it and was always there.”

    — C.T.