The Click: Why is the matching process so important in a surrogacy match for both Intended Parents and Surrogates?
This post is about THE CLICK that should happen between Intended Parents and Surrogates. Of course, a surrogate must meet basic qualifications for becoming a surrogate but there is much more to a great match. We have a team of professionals that evaluate the match including our agency, the fertility clinic, and the mental health professional. This team must evaluate whether there is a good match from a professional standpoint using criteria developed by the American Society of Reproductive Medicine and other professional and medical organizations. These criteria of course are critical to a successful journey. But, the other element we address is beyond the medical and psychological components of a match. A good match also involves the intuitive, gut feeling that one has when meeting their potential Surrogate or Intended Parents. In other words, whether you feel you “click” with each other.
The Intended Parents embark on a journey that requires good faith and trust that their Surrogate is going to be responsible, and compliant with the requirements of the medical process and her treating physicians. Surrogates are providing a gift that goes far beyond the compensation they receive and want to feel appreciation and respect from the Intended Parents as the journey proceeds.
For this reason, when we match at Advocates for Surrogacy, we want to give the matching process some time to develop. It’s not about one zoom call and the decision must be made. It’s about everyone feeling like they have a good match and that comes with some more time and communication and if possible, a meetup. During this time, of critical importance is that everyone asks the questions they need to ask and have serious discussions about serious issues that can arise. And then each person must ask themselves if this is in line with their thinking.
And lastly, both need the guidance and sage advice of an experienced surrogacy agency professional as they work through the matching process.